Children are Just Naturally Happy
As a young child I remember spending summers at the foot of the Tetons in Wyoming. We always had what we needed but we didn’t have much else and I remember being so happy. Playing outdoors. Fishing with my dad and extended family. The wood stove in the cabin to keep us warm at night and early morning. My imagination that created endless adventures. Every memory I have of that early time in my life is a happy memory. Fast forward 25 or 30 years and I was in constant pursuit of more stuff, which I guess I thought would return me to those happy feelings of my childhood. Bigger houses. Newer and fancier cars. Bigger boats. A better country club membership. The latest in golf club technology. Fine Italian suits and shoes. I was the complete opposite of a minimalist and nothing seemed to give me complete satisfaction. There was no end to the desire for more, better, different. And then, it all came crashing down.
My Journey to Less
Ok, so confession time. I’m not really what most people consider to be a minimalist. I did not consciously embrace minimalism as part of the recovery process from life changing events. I actually came to the concept with a different objective in mind. As I exited a failed marriage and sought changes from an unfulfilling career and health concerns, I wanted a complete reset to my life. So, I left nearly everything behind or at the local Goodwill. After the purge, literally everything I owned fit easily in the back of a mid-sized and well used SUV. Suddenly, I felt free and completely content with what I had. Not since early childhood had I felt like I had everything I needed. The combination of a few articles of clothing, a laptop, phone, backpack and camping and fly fishing gear was more than sufficient given the enduring love of my children and family and my enjoyment of the outdoors. For the first time in decades, I wanted for nothing else. At that point, and continuing now about eight years later, less has become much more.
The Drive to Always Wanting More
In previous posts on this blog, I’ve written about how our Human Being is solely focused on survival and procreation. As such, our Human Being has this drive to acquire more and more and more. Because our innate perception is that the more we have the better our chances at survival and procreation. More possessions. More money. More power or influence. Even more, or more robust, mating partners is an innate desire that is only offset by a conscious decision to stay true to our chosen partner. This desire leads to a constant dissatisfaction with what we have today and that is part of the drive to accumulate more tomorrow. But, the reality is that our Human Being only needs four things to survive and one thing to procreate. We need clean air to breathe. We need clean water to drink and nutritious food to eat. We need adequate shelter from the sun and from the cold. That’s it from a survival perspective. In order to procreate, and pass our genetics forward to the next generation, we just need one partner of the opposite sex with whom we can mate, or a surrogate who will contribute their genetics to ours and bring a new life into the world. Everything else we strive to accumulate is simply some form of perceived insurance that we believe will enhance our longevity or our attractiveness to a potential mate.
What Minimal Means to Me
The concept of minimalism means different things to different people. I’ve struggled for weeks now to write this post and it finally dawned on me that I was going through a review of my feelings on this subject. For me, being happy with less is not something akin to a monk’s life and having only one set of clothing, a sleeping mat and bowl for food. There is nothing wrong with living like that, but it’s not my definition of minimalism. For me, this is really about dropping the attachment to things and stuff as being important to my sense of wellbeing and happiness. The jettisoning of my stuff that I described earlier was a sudden event. But the realization, at a deep level, that it is really about losing the attachment to stuff that really matters, took more than a couple of years. Since the purge eight years ago, I try to do two things. First, to make sure that I enjoy everything I own and that I enjoy it or use on a very regular basis. Secondly, I make sure to swap new for old when I do buy something new so that I don’t accumulate “more” as my innate Human Being tendency would dictate. For example, if I buy a new pair of jeans I use them to replace an older pair of jeans or pants. A new shirt or shoes replace something older that I no longer value as much. The items replaced are donated to charity. As a result, over the past few years I’ve acquired things that I really enjoy and yet all of my possessions, in total, still fit in a mid-sized SUV.
Releasing the Attachment to Stuff and Happiness
In a previous post on this blog, I offered my definition of happiness as being fully satisfied with our circumstances in every moment. In this state of mind, we are not looking for something more, something new or something different in the future, for our happiness. We are happy with what we have, who we are and what we do in the present moment so we are not seeking to change anything in an effort to be more satisfied and happier. The reason this is so challenging is that our Human Being is so influential in how we see our circumstances due to the drive to survive and procreate. This biological programming is bolstered by most everything our senses bring to our awareness. Powerful stimulants supporting our natural drives come from advertising, media of all kinds, ever expanding social platforms and the norms of society that continue to define success primarily based upon money, possessions and status.
Your Soul Being is the Solution
The only way out of this unhappy trap is to live life much more through our Soul Being that is impervious to these influences and that naturally, fully and eternally basks in the glow of unconditional love. One of the greatest gifts in my life has been some significant detachment from my Human Being’s desire to always strive for more, better, newer and the emergence of my Soul Being’s ability to just Be. It is never all Human or all Soul and I know this journey, and the work/practice, will never end. But doing the work daily, to stay on the path to more Soul Being and less Human Being, is an incredibly happy path to be on!
Thanks so much for reading this post and I look forward to your comments and feedback. I also hope that you’ll subscribe so as not to miss future posts where I’ll go deeper into the work that will lead to your Soul Being.
Jim